Not sure about you but sex was the last thing on my mind! New baby, no sleep, your body is in full recovery mode and well I just didn’t feel sexy at all. Note: you need to be cleared by your doctor prior which is normally four to six weeks after delivery. On top of that “Nursing releases oxytocin, a hormone that triggers good feelings toward the baby but also suppresses your libido,” says Dr. Booth. “Anthropologically speaking, keeping your sex drive low is your body’s way of preventing another pregnancy too soon. Patients are always relieved to find out there’s a reason they’re not as into sex.”
Some women also worry it will not feel as good at first. “The assumption is that the pain is from the trauma of delivery, which it definitely can be, but it also has to do with low levels of estrogen that affect the elasticity of the vaginal tissues,” says Rebecca Booth, M.D., a Louisville, Kentucky, gynecologist and author of The Venus Week. Estrogen levels drop right after giving birth and remain low while breastfeeding. “When a woman is nursing, especially in the beginning, the decrease in estrogen combined with high prolactin and oxytocin levels can mimic menopause for the first two to three months,” says Dr. Booth. “Think night sweats, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and often pain.”
“It’s definitely different. I’m so exhausted at the end of each day, so I’m like, ‘Can this not happen at night when I’m exhausted?'” -Hilary Duff
Tips For Getting Back To IT
This of course can be tough on a relationship. Intimacy is still part of the glue that holds a relationship together. So how do you do it when you don’t want to do IT?
- Talk about it. You will be amazed how conversation will lead into sex.
- Quickies! You will learn with the unpredictable sleeping pattern of your new lil one that quickies are a must!
- Instead of afternoon delights make them morning delights. Set an alarm if you need to to wake up and enjoy each other before the baby wakes up. (If there is any resemblance of a schedule that is)
- Be honest and open with each other. I have had to let mine know the nips are off-limits for a bit because they are sore!
- Go shopping! Victoria Secret’s is successful for a reason. Get in there and find something that makes you feel good about you. Fortunately for me my hubby has told me I am a MILF from day one. I laugh at him of course but it works!
- Last but not least, don’t stress. You will want it again. Give yourself time to heal and adjust to your new roles.
“New motherhood gives you an opportunity to embrace the chaos and know that you are doing the best you can—including in your sex life.”- Sarah J. Swofford